I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
