There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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