You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
