he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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