took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
