So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
