do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
