Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
