Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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