This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
