I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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