If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Is Oprah even human
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
