I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
4 words: hood of his car
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
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