in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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