This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
