did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
