I wannas sexs uuuuu
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
