oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
