I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
