did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
