VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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