I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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