What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
