finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
i now understand why vodka
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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