I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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