Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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