Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
