she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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