Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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