we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
