I think my vagina is haunted
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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