I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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