He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
