I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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