I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
