Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She's JV to your varsity
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
two words...techno handjob
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Randomize
