yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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