ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
