What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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