People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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