and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He shit in the fireplace
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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