i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
