cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
