I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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