their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
