i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
