Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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