4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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