I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
