just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
