hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
